October, or the 78th month of 2020

01 Oct 2020

where do i even start?

it’s been a few years and there have been so many changes in the world and in my life. the best time to have restarted this blog would probably have been in march, at the beginning of the pandemic. honestly, though, so much has changed even from then, and i wasn’t in a place where i thought could have contributed anything in march.

i think i am at that place now.

i have been suffering a lot over the past few months with challenges to my mental health, my marriage and its slow demise, adjusting to pandemic life, work challenges, and of course, the racial inequallity that has been rearing its head again in this country. that suffering has pushed me to the edge a few times, and i have been able to get away from the edge with a lot of help from therapy, friends, strangers, and work on the mats. as i have come back from the edge, i have discovered quite a lot about myself, i’ve kicked over a lot of rocks under which some traumas were hidden, and i’ve found strength in my vulnerability.

it is that vulnerabilty that i will offer here, and i hope, dear reader, that it may help in some way.